Him: I was in the diner and this homeless guy was telling his friend about how his girlfriend was murdered and I was, like, uh, I'm trying to eat.
Me: Did you say that to him?
Him: No but it was disgusting. He didn't even order food and I was trying to eat.
Me: So this man was homeless and his girlfriend was murdered and you just made it all about you? And how it wrecked your meal?
Him: Uh, yeah.
Me: That's why I think you're a dick.